4 Ideas for Making the Most out of Counseling (Even if You’re Nervous)
Contributed by Jacqueline Larraga
I’ve sat on both sides of the counseling room, and it’s easy to remember the jumble of emotions and thoughts that run through your head that first counseling session. Whether you are walking into the room or tapping on a Zoom link, everyone enters counseling with his or her own set of concerns, expectations, hopes, and questions. Some of the more familiar ones are…
Will I be understood?
Will this work?
And perhaps, scariest of all…What if it doesn’t?
While I can’t answer all those questions, as a counselor, I can do my best to address some of the underlying fears.
One of the initial ways I seek to do this is by inviting my counselees to fill out a personal background questionnaire before we meet. I used to say that having this document in hand before the first appointment helps us to “hit the ground running.” I’ve adjusted how I describe that because what it really means is that both counselor and counselee can take a deep breath at the start of a conversation and know that we aren’t beginning from the beginning. For many, putting some of their story on paper before an appointment helps bring clarity. And on my end, every time I receive this document from someone I will be meeting with for the first time, I read it prayerfully beforehand, asking God to help me understand well and be ready to listen compassionately….
From the Bookshelf: Esther Smith’s:
A Still and Quiet Mind
Contributed by Berry Hudson
Esther Smith walks us through a process of how to avoid simply reacting to the thoughts we do not like (often for very good reasons!), showing us instead how to respond with a well-planned mindset that leads us to a quieter mind.
We often think of examination as a process of searching our hearts for sin. But the goal of discerning our thoughts “is not to simply avoid the evil in this life; it is to learn what is good so that we might embrace and enjoy it.” Yes, one of our goals is to take sinful thoughts captive. But the larger goal of examination is for us to cultivate still and quiet minds filled with enjoyable thoughts that are pleasing to God. (Chapter 1, p. 27)
I find it particularly helpful to begin with listening to the unwanted thoughts to understand them and then pray through those thoughts specifically before God. The temptation to react quickly to an unwanted thought to make the pain it may bring go away leads us away from a deeper dependence on God and an ability to locate Him in the midst of our thoughts. Smith wisely encourages us not to fall into that trap.